Admittedly…I’ve Been Holding Back: End of 2013
I feel that subconsciously I’ve been avoiding this post because it’s my way of lying to myself. Or to the people who pay attention to what I do. But if I don’t write this now then I’ll write it later, like Monday, and the tone will be decidedly more pissed off. More disappointed. More confused. More curse-filled. $^%# %^#$ *!^%…
I knew I had some issues going on. Retrocalcaneal bursitis was a definite. Then pain spread to the arch of my foot. And very similar to the onset of when I couldn’t put any weight (i.e.. walk) on it back in late December when I fractured it. Only the pain was like a 8/9 on a 1-10 scale v a 14.5 back when I broke the bone. Even still, I couldn’t run. So MRI [again] and major marrow edema; a huge red flag of trauma. So I took time away from running, but still with cycling, and even just putting on my shoes before class in the mornings, I could tell that there was a difference between my left and right foot. So after bagging 2 runs less than a quarter mile in, I went to the doc who read the same radiology report I had already picked up from the MRI guys…gals. I’m usually the only guy in the building. But the point is this is [more or less] what the doc said: “‘If YOU can’t even run 100 yards to your mailbox and back without wincing, you can’t run. It may not be another fracture; it even says in the report to question the edema may be from trauma versus being a repetitive motion injury, but still…You keep going and it’ll end up a full break.”
So, ladies and gentlemen, is how my already shortened 2013 racing season ended. Because of pain HERE:
No Worlds in London on TeamUSA. No more Rev3 events. No automatic TeamUSA & AG Worlds based on my USAT score or Worlds performance. NO MORE CENTEREDNESS FROM ENDURANCE… That last one is important, because even though my foot feels…well it feels good…I know it’s not 100%. And because of that I can’t really train but in the pool. Even swimming 5k a day (which isn’t happening yet because mentally I’m not at the ‘acceptance’ stage of Kübler-Ross’s model) and yoga in the evenings and the insane amount of body-builder type lifting I’m doing, it’s still only ‘training’ (let’s be real; now in my OS it’s ‘exercising’) MAYBE 15 hours a week. Low intensity. POINT BEING…my body literally shakes . No hyperbole here.
It’s for a reason; reasons outside of any training stress or physiological, and I know why. Still kinda angry. But here’s my confession of current pause, and pledge to refocus. Coach already has a 2014-15 checklist. Let us grit our teeth and bow our heads into that. Success
PS…Good luck to the racers tomorrow…today I guess… Kick some ass at Rev3 CP and 70.3 Worlds in LV!!!