Statue

Time… It seems like even the best laid plans and months of preparation doesn’t mean that everything will just fall in to place when you want it to. You may be ready, but everything else may not share the feeling. What does that mean then? If after you’ve tried your perfectly mapped out route, all falls down but the very slightest shape of the destination, do you quit? You know you won’t. You can’t. You see that after every time the walls come crumbling down, they start to rebuild themselves. And after you’ve taken a step back, and made a new plan of attack, you end up at the same house. And it crumbles again and again once you reach for the door to let yourself in. You keep coming back though; keep putting yourself into danger with everything you want safe and strong in this place crumbling down around you. And it hurts, and you’re scared, but you can’t keep yourself occupied with anything else. So you keep coming back. You come back because that foundation is still there, and no matter what happens it won’t crumble away. That gives you hope, and takes all of the negative feelings away, no mater how strong the flood waters come every time you watch it all fall. You’ve tried to start over with new materials, and in new places, but you keep finding yourself back at the door. Hoping that this time she’s ready to let you in. Praying that it’s time now. You know that the time is coming; where she lets you in, and you show that there’s nothing left of the person you were when you destroyed it all the very first time, and started the whole cycle. So you put yourself in the same place over and over. Watching it all fall down, while you just stand as a statue watching. And knowing that after it’s all over this time, you won’t stay away. Dedication, resolve, stupidity, passion. You’re not going anywhere. You couldn’t if you tried. and you don’t want to. So you sit and watch and reach over and over because you’re not a quitter, and you won’t lose the feelings. You’ll chase as long as it takes. You don’t have a choice.

Read into that however you want, but think about it… What are you chasing that you’d leave yourself hurt over and over again because of how strongly you feel about it? Would you give anything for it? Would you ever really quit?

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One thought on “Statue

  1. This brings tears to my eyes Josh. I hope one day a guy cares as deeply for me. It is quite remarkable your tenancity.

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